In a dry place…

I hate dry periods in my walk.   I’m not sure if it is busyness or what, but it is so frustrating.  I prayed today and asked God to help me, fill me, and reveal to me what is going on, and why I feel so discontent right now.  A few hours later this was in my email (it is the Heartlight verse of the day).  I can’t help but feel He is trying to tell me something…

VERSE:

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.– Proverbs 31:30

THOUGHT:

Want to find a really good woman? Look for one who honors and reveres the LORD with all of her heart, soul, mind, and strength. Appearance, physical strength, and even personality can change and degrade. A woman whose heart is anchored and enlivened by the presence of God in her life will be a life-long blessing and a woman worthy of our praise, and the praise of her God.

Breaking Free

 

Super stoked to be reading Beth Moore’s book Breaking Free.  Will share much more later, but thought I would share a couple of things so far.

 

Five benefits God intends to be the daily experience of every child of God:
1.  To know God and believe Him
2.  To glorify God
3.  To find satisfaction in God
4.  To experience God’s peace
5.  To enjoy God’s presense

Five obstacles that block our access to the benefits God wants for us:
1.  Unbelief, which hinders knowing God
2.  Pride, which prevents us from glorifying God
3.  Idolatry, which keeps us from being satisfied with God
4.  Prayerlessness, which blocks our experience of God’s peace
5.  Legalism, which stops our enjoyment of God’s presence

“You are my witnesses”, declares the Lord, “and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he.”  (Isa. 43:10).

Proverbs 31 Woman

It’s been a while since I have posted…the Lord  has certainly been speaking to me, but honestly, I haven’t been taking the time to really listen like I had been.  I have been letting the “the world” get in the way.  Something that is so easy to fall prey to.

I started homeschooling my youngest two children last month and that pretty much took control.  I think I am finally getting a schedule down and can once again start focusing on what the Lord is saying to me.  Okay, this is an excuse, I know I have wasted plenty of time in the past month.  So really, I have no excuse.  I’m ready to get back into seeking Him, I am the only one to blame.

Last night my husband and I went to our first home group in over a year.  It was a sweet time of fellowship and at the end we broke off into groups to pray.  I broke off with 4 other women.  One of the women prayed for us as wives, and mentioned Proverbs 31.  This morning I decided to read it and now I know that it was totally from the Lord.  I want to be the woman in Proverbs 31.

Of course, times have changed, and I can’t go in my backyard and plant a vineyard…I also can’t sew, so making my own clothes is out of the question.  But, I can figure out how to be the Proverbs 31 women of this day and age.

What I want…

I want to be an excellent wife.  I want my husband’s heart to trust me.  I want to do my husband good and not evil.  I want to work with my hands in delight (I guess this could be cleaning and cooking, which I don’t like to do).  I want to make wise financial decisions for my household (this could apply to shopping wisely).  I want to be strong.  I don’t want my lamp to go out when it is dark.  I want to reach out to the poor and needy.  I don’t want to fear for my family because I know they are covered in prayer.  I want strength and dignity.   I want to smile at the future.  I want to be wise when I speak.  I want to be kind when I teach.  I want to be productive when it comes to my household.  I want my children to bless me.   I want my husband to praise me.

I want these things because this is how the Lord describes a worthy woman.  I want to be this woman.

Sins of the Spirit

Did you every stop to think, “our pride, our legalism, our self-focus, our self-righteousness, our bitterness, and our hatred can all be far worse to deal with than the more obvious sins of the flesh” (Guzik).

This was yet another eye opener to me this morning during my study time.

2nd Corinithians, 7:1 “…let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit…”

How do we cleanse ourselves from the defilement of the spirit?  All of the sins mentioned by Guzik are issues of the spirit.  They all take place on the inside.  The sins of the flesh can be easier to see and deal with.  But how do we deal with the heart issues?

Charles Spurgeon said “I wish we were more concerned about cleansing ourselves from the filthiness of the spirit“.  We must see the importance of this cleansing and we must deal with these spirit issues.

2nd Corinthians 7:10 “For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death”.

That is a big verse that would take hours to unfold.  But the part that spoke to me this morning is that Godly sorrow will produce repentance.  If you are just sorry, it won’t produce anything except bad feelings.  Perhaps even bad and angry feelings with ourselves.  I think this is what I do.  When I see my inside sins, I usually get angry with myself for not having self control.  Or I get angry with God for not healing me already.  So what am I doing?  I am taking an issue of the heart, and turning it into another issue of the heart…anger or bitterness.  I am sure this only magnifies the issue.  And then, the anger or bitterness probably triggers another issue of the spirit…you can see how this can be a problem.

However, if you have Godly sorrow, it will produce repentance, and repentance is taking action to change.  I believe when dealing with issues of the spirit, it requires daily repentance.  I think the first step in cleansing the spirit is recognizing the filthiness of the spirit in your life.  This is what happened to me this morning.  I realized my biggest sin issues are issues of the spirit.  As a matter of fact, my husband always teases me, and says my sins are small, that I don’t really do anything that bad.  Well, he only sees my fleshly sins.  If my biggest sins are of the spirit, of course he wouldn’t see those things. Only the Lord knows my thoughts and my heart.  What I realized this morning is that these sins of the spirit are just as important as fleshly sins, or perhaps even more important, since they are harder to deal with.  So yes, my sins are big and they are “that bad”.

When we see these sins of the spirit taking hold in our life, we must repent, and truly trust God to transformation us.  We must not feel bad, and let those feelings cause others sins of the spirit.  If we do feel sorrow, we need to remember it is He who will comfort us – 2nd Corinithians 7:6 – But God, who comforts the depressed…”.

I thank God for showing me this issue in my life.

Disciple like Jesus

Today in my devotional time there were several verses that spoke to me and gave me a lot to think about. Questions I asked myself after reading this chapter were:  How can I serve Him and what does He want me to do?  How do I not cause offense to others so that His ministry is not discredited?  How do I love and minister to unbelievers, yet not become worldly myself?

I am only going to choose one of the three verses to blog about, but I encourage you to read the whole chapter.  It is one of those chapters that really makes you think.

2 Corinthians 6:1 “And working together with Him, we also urge you not to receive the grace of God in vain”.

This was yet another reminder to me that I have been called to work with Him.  I am not to receive his gift of grace and do nothing with it.  If I were to receive a brand new car from my husband, how would he feel if I just thanked him and left it sitting in the driveway?  And, what are the chances I would even do that?  Well, I can honestly say I wouldn’t.  I would be super excited about that gift and want to show it off to the world?  So how does the Lord feel when we receive His gift, and do absolutely nothing with it?  Shouldn’t we receive this gift and want to show it off to the world?  Of course.  His gift is the most valuable gift that we will ever receive!

So this brings us to the part of Him wanting us to be workers in the kingdom with Him.  My biggest question is always the same.  What does He want me to do?  I often feel pathetic and so unqualified to do anything for Him.  I know I have been called to minister to my own children, as He put that on my heart last June.  But I also know there is more for me to do.  It doesn’t end there.  Not that ministering to my kids is not super important.  It is.  And because of this nudging  we have decided to homeschool our two youngest children this year (our oldest two are out of school).  This is a sacrifice for our family and will be my focus most of the day.  However, how can I serve Him in everything I do?

Guzik says “God’s best for our life is never a state of ease and comfort and indulgent inactivity – even if we did all those things together with Him. God wants us to be workers together with Him, not “couch potatoes” or “pew potatoes” together with Him”.

Well, at the end of the school day, after I have spent 5-6 hours teaching and hopefully ministering to my girls…I don’t want to be a couch or pew potato.  I want to show them, through my actions, what it means to work together with the Lord.   The disciples of Jesus walked with Him, and served with Him daily.  I need to see my kids as walking with me and serving with me daily.  I need to disciple to them like Jesus.

What does it mean to be a disciple? Here are 7 conditions of discipleship:  cross bearing, self denial, leaving everything, abiding in His words & teaching, supreme love for Christ, love for others, and fruitfulness.  Clearly, discipleship is not easy.  However, discipleship is working together with Him, and, most importantly, it is what He called us to do.

Help, I have been robbed!

2 Corinthians 2:11 “so that no advantage would be taken of us, by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his schemes”.

I read this verse yesterday morning while reading my bible and praying at the beach.  It was one of those mornings where I really humbled myself before the Lord in prayer and felt an urgency to pray for certain things going on in my life and the life of my family.  When I was done with my devotion time, I really felt pressed to go home and research this verse…however, as usual, I arrived home and immediately became distracted with everything and never got around to it.

This morning I was up early and decided to do my devotion time from home.  I knew I had such a busy day ahead and probably wouldn’t make it to the beach.  This morning I underlined 2 Corinthians 3:17 “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty”.  I was reminded of yesterday’s verse and the urgency I felt to look at that verse more in depth.

Looking at the first verse underlined yesterday, what really stands out is the last sentence “for we are not ignorant of his schemes”.  This is what I have been blogging about – the importance of knowing our enemies strategies!  However, the question remains, how do we know what those strategies are?  I was pretty blown away by the answer to this question this morning.

I went to David Guzik’s commentary, again.  I really like the way Guzik teaches.  He teaches in a way that I can easily grasp the concept, so you will see me refer to him frequently.  He said when we are ignorant of Satan’s strategies, he is able to take things from us that belong to us in Jesus, things like peace, joy, fellowship, a sense of forgiveness, and victory.

Wow, I have been praying for months about having the joy of the Lord. I am now convinced I am being cheated out of that very gift.  And not only me, my entire family.  I believe there is a spirit of oppression in our home.    Oppression can be a feeling of being heavily burdened, mentally or physically, by troubles, adverse conditions, anxiety, etc.  How can you experience joy if you are bogged down by these feelings?

Another thing Guzik said was that in this chapter, the Corinthians failure to show love to the repentant man could also be used as a strategy of Satan.  Without getting into details, I will just say that this hit me hard.  I believe I am guilty of this very thing.  So here is yet another scheme being used right here in my home.

Satan has specific strategies he uses against us to take advantage of us and rob us of the gifts we have in Jesus.  Paul said he was not ignorant of these strategies, can we say the same?  I can’t.  I have been posting about the importance of knowing our enemies strategies so we can fight in the battle, however I did not even know what those strategies were in my own life!  Not until today.  I am convinced that the Lord is showing me and teaching me exactly what those strategies are.  When you humbly come to the Lord and request His help, He is faithful to answer.

When we become stressed and upset, and feel hopelessness and despair, we lose our peace and joy.  This has been the enemies strategy in my life for the past 3+ years now.  I had that peace and joy at one time…I felt it, and was feeling excited and effective in ministry as well.  I have been robbed.  I want it back!

So, what do I do?  I believe that answer is in what I underlined today, “the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty”.

Verse of the Day

During my daily bible reading, I usually have a couple of verses that I end up underlining because they speak to my heart.  Sometimes they are so incredibly timely that I just know they were there before me, on that particular day, because the Lord wanted me to see them. I have decided I will try to do a Verse of the Day on those days.

Today I underlined the following:

1 Corinthians 16:13-14 – Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. Let all that you do be done with love.

Christians are to be strong, on alert, and watching.  This is so important to remember because it is so easy to forget when we are facing the trials of life, big or small.  Actually, it may even be harder to remember with the small ones.

An interesting factoid in this verse:   it is the only place in the New Testament where the word translated “be brave” is used (andrizomai).  It literally means “to act like a man.”   It was kind of funny that I underlined this because basically in my first post I posted something along the lines of women being called into battle too, and it isn’t just for men.  We need to be brave, know our enemies strategies, and stand firm in the battle.  In other words – we are soldiers too!

I love the last line in this verse, especially since I just posted on my struggle with love.  “Let all that you do be done with love”.  What does that mean?  It means when we are watching, standing firm, and being brave in the battle, we are to do all of these things with love!  In other words, if you look at the definition of love in 1st Corinthians, we are to do these things with patience, kindness, not being jealous, not bragging, not being arrogant, not acting unbecomingly, not seeking our own, not being provoked, not taking into account wrongs suffered, not rejoicing in unrighteousness, but rejoicing with the truth, bearing all things, believing all things, hoping in all things, and enduring all things.

David Guzik says  the best way to understand each of these is to see them in the life of Jesus.  We could replace the word love with the name Jesus and the description would make perfect sense. We can easily say, Jesus suffers long and is kind; Jesus does not envy . . . and make it through the whole chapter.

Loving Feelings Produce Loving Behavior

As I mentioned in my first post, I struggle with loving others.  This doesn’t mean I walk around hating people, or disliking people.  I struggle with showing love and affection, as well as with serving others.  The sad part is that I have realized I struggle with “showing” love toward those I love the most…my family.

I don’t really know why I have this struggle.  It has to be something from my childhood.  I am a child of divorce.  I didn’t have a great childhood, but I also didn’t have a terrible one, at least not terrible like some kids have it.  I never questioned my parents love for me.  My parents separated when I was 11 and divorced when I was 12.  My dad, unlike most dads, cared for me a lot when I was little.  I, like most kids, lived with my mom after the divorce.  She had to work days and nights to support us.  My two older brothers were already out of the house, therefore I was alone a lot, which meant I had to fend for myself most of the time.  Most importantly though, I didn’t grow up in the church.  I went for a short time when I was about 6, and again for a short time when I was 12.  Both of these times I was the one who initiated going to church.  When I was six, I went all by myself on a bus that picked me up in front of my house.  When I was 12, I asked my mom if we could find a Christian church to attend.   However, shortly after that we moved.  We moved A LOT.  Once we relocated, we did not find another church.

I have been praying for the last several years that the Lord would help me with this struggle.  I tend to have a lack of patience with my kids…meaning they often bug me and get on my nerves.  Sometimes I just feel down right selfish and don’t feel like doing anything for them.  It is as if I want them to grow up already, even though my youngest two are only 7 & 9.  I truly hate this feeling.  I want to enjoy these days with them, as they go by so fast.

A few months ago at church our pastor broke the congregation up into small groups to pray.  He did this for several weeks because he truly believed we needed to get focused on prayer.  One of the weeks we had to confess struggles to one another.  I confessed my lack of patience and selfishness with my kids.  Our friend Tyler, who happened to sit next to my husband and I that day and prayed with us, told me that it sounded as if it was a “love issue” with me.  I will never forget him saying that.  I already knew this in my heart, therefore I really felt this was confirmation of what my struggle is.  The scripture in 1st Corinthians 13:4-7 has been one that I read and think about often.

Yesterday I went to visit my friend Melissa.  She and I are similar in a lot of ways and have had the same struggles with our teenage boys.  She started talking about this book she is reading, “Raising Your Child, not by Force but by Love”, by Sidney D. Craig.  She said it is a great book and has helped her tremendously.  Before I left she loaned it to me to read.  I read the first chapter last night.  There was one line that jumped out at me repeatedly – “loving feelings produce loving behavior”.

In a nutshell, I am a conscientious parent and I truly love my kids on the inside, however I struggle with showing outward love to them.  This is why I lose my patience with them when they misbehave (which seems to be more and more often), or when they simply act their age.  If they are feeling loved by me, they will want to please me.  That is human nature.

I believe the Lord has put this book in front of me, at this very time.  I have been praying for years for my struggle…sometimes I get mad that He isn’t answering that prayer…other times I wonder if this is my so called cross I have to pick up and carry and think maybe I will always struggle with love.  But, the more I think about it, I don’t believe that is true.  He transforms us to be more Christ like…and He does that in His own time, not ours.  I have to believe that He will heal me in this area, or it will never happen.  For now I will keep this passage in my mind and try to meditate on it daily while I wait for Him to transform me.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (New American Standard Bible)

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

A Captive Heart

2nd Corinthians 10:3-5 “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh.  For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ…”

This is the theme of my blog because it says so much about our struggle in this world.  As women, I think we sometimes tend to forget that these verses are meant for us too…especially the part about war.  We are in this battle too, it is not just for the men.  We need to remember this and we must bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.

This is especially true if you are living in America and part of the “American church”.  In America, at least as of today, there really isn’t much persecution…at least not the real kind of persecution that is going on in other countries like China.  It is so easy to blend in, and become a part of the worldliness that surrounds us.  Some might say it is just as dangerous to be a Christian here in America because of this.

Have you ever asked a friend for advice on a problem and received the most un-biblical advice possible?  Divorce is running rampant in our country (including our churches)…if you are having marriage problems, most would tell you to just get a divorce.  If you are having financial problems, most would tell you to just file bankruptcy.  If you are having problems with your kids, most would tell you to let them find themselves…after all it is just a stage.  How many will actually tell you to pray?  Actually tell you to pull out your bible and see what God’s advice is?  This is part of the danger of being a Christian in America…it is so easy to listen to the worldliness that surrounds us.

Let’s look a little deeper at what this verse is saying…I should note, a lot of these thoughts I am putting down are from David Guzik’s commentary on Corinthians.

In these verses, Paul tells us that we all walk in the the flesh, but that we shouldn’t war according the the flesh.  He is admitting that we all struggle with walking in  the flesh, even him.  However, our weapons shouldn’t be material, they should be spiritual.  In Ephesians 6, Paul lists the kind of spiritual weapons he used:  the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes of the gospel, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit.  Wow, how many of us actually look to these when we are in a trial (aka battle)?  I know I tend to walk in the flesh more often than I use the spiritual weapons Paul speaks of.  To rely on spiritual weapons means we have to have faith in God, instead of simply giving in and using our carnal weapons.

But, these spiritual weapons are mandatory for pulling down strongholds.  The carnal, human way is to overpower and dominate and manipulate and out-maneuver.  The spiritual way is to humble yourself, die to yourself, and let God show His resurrection power through you.  Wow, if only it were as easy as it sounds.  I am the first to admit, this is harder to do than it is to suggest doing it…and I fail repeatedly.

Our spiritual weapons are scorned by the world, but feared by demonic powers. Satan wants us to fear obeying the Lord.  When we fight with truth, righteousness, evangelism, faith, salvation, the Word of God, and prayer, no principality or power can stand against us!  We have to believe that with all of our heart.

What are strongholds?  Strongholds in this context are wrong thoughts and perceptions, contradicting the true knowledge of God and the nature of God.  These strongholds are expressed in arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God.  They are carnal, worldly ways of thinking that go against the mind and methods of God.  This type of thinking wants to debate God, saying there is a better way.  They think of themselves as smarter, more creative, more effective, more powerful than God’s ways. Carnal, worldly minds think they know more than God does…or think they know better than God!

Can anyone relate?  I know I can…how many times in my life have I prayed and asked the Lord for help with something…only to get discouraged because He isn’t answering my prayer fast enough and deciding I have a better way of fixing the problem.  Of course, my way always ends up causing even more problems.   I have also noticed when I do this, it causes confusion in my life…our God is not a God of confusion, He is a God of peace.  You know when you are in His will when you feel that peace…it is simply an amazing place to be.  When we find ourselves in that  state of confusion, we must learn to pull out those spiritual weapons mentioned above and get into the battle.

This is what having a captive heart is all about…bringing every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.  When we struggle with waring according to the flesh, we need to remember to get on our knees and pray instead.  For me, waring with the flesh can be things like yelling at my kids, medicating with something to make my problems go away, fighting with others, holding grudges, blaming others for my problems, and of course the big one…Pride!  When we start waring according to the flesh, everything goes downhill.  We need to stay placed on the battlefield and wait.  We need to find out the strategy of our enemy and surprise him in the battle with our spiritual weapons.

So…let’s get in the battle, bring those thoughts captive, and fight the fight!